Arghh - it gets too difficult sometimes

A week or so ago the bank wrote me a nice letter and offered me a pretty platinum credit card with a credit limit about the size of half the mortgage to replace my boring old ordinary credit card with it's piddly little credit limit only the size of quarter of the mortgage. (my parents nearly went bankrupt in the 70s for less money than my old credit card limit - but that's another story) There was a small annual fee for this lovely card of course but as it includes free travel insurance it was actually a good deal. Anyway I felt really special to be offered this pretty shiny card that suggested I was a rich person and since you never know when you might want a brand new car or something on a whim I thought I had better take it.

It arrived the other day - and it is pretty and shiny - but I had to take it to the bank to get a PIN put on it. I decided to do this today when I was in Hamilton working. So I stood in the queue in the bank for 14 minutes (I kid you not - they were extremely slow). I got to the counter and said I needed a PIN on my credit card and handed the card and my drivers licence over. The teller looked at my drivers licence, sneered, and tossed the two cards back at me "Your licence has expired" Oh god - has it... I check, yes it has, and I've been driving round for two months with no drivers licence. Hmm. She refuses to accept an expired licence as ID. She isn't that polite (in fact she makes a comment about hoping I remember when my credit card is due for payment). I collect my dignity, sneer back and walk out contemplating the letter I will write to the manager.

Anyway now I don't have a drivers licence I am due to be stopped at any minute for some driving indiscretion and then I will get a big fat ticket for having an expired licence won't I. I'm too nervous to drive home, I go to the AA and enquire about renewing my licence. The lady in there is lovely. She gives me the form. My expired licence is okay for ID I just need something with my name and address on it to prove where I live and we can go ahead. Oh darn. I turn out my handbag. I have a lot of receipts for all sorts of things -but I have nothing to prove where I live. Double darn. Nice lady commiserates with me. I have a thought, there is a receipt and guarantee for the tyres on the car in the glovebox. I run out to the car and get it after shovelling dozens of receipts back into my handbag. It has our address on it BUT it has husbands name not mine. Triple and quadruple darn - and worse words than that.

There is nothing for it I will have to do it another day. I get back into the car I am not supposed to be driving and head down the road. Where I find a branch of our insurance company. Brainwave. Quick braking (probably very bad driving brought on by being an unlicenced driver) and swing into the carpark. I go in "I want to pay some insurance" I'm directed to another nice lady and explain the story - I want to pay whatever policy is due next and get a receipt with my address on it please. She congratulates me on my initiative and has a look - there is one due for renewal next month, would I like to pay that. I don't need to pay she could print me out the account if I would prefer. In the face of such pleasantness I opt to pay - it will save me forgetting to later anyway.

Armed with my receipt with name and address on it I proceed back to where I was and renew my drivers licence. All done with good cheer and efficiency. The new licence will arrive in due course and in the meantime I have a temporary one. I am now safe to drive again.

Still don't have a PIN on my pretty new credit card. Guess I'll just have to sign.